Man drowning in his emptiness

Today I overheard (perhaps eavesdropping is the proper word but it was definitely not intentional) a conversation between two strangers while leaving the gym this morning. I caught portions of a dialogue between a man and a woman in a very private conversation in a public environment – it was exactly like a scene within a movie. What caught me was the frank emptiness leaking from the male figure’s voice and in his physical demeanor while the consoling female tried to provide a bit of advice  in order to alleviate him from his disposition. The brief dialogue went somewhat like this:

Female: Is it because you are lonely?

Male: ….uh… yeah I don’t know what to do.. about… this…

Female:  You should really definitely think of social clubs or activities with other people like you.

Male: ….. Can’t get this feeling out of myself… maybe should…. I’ve stopped taking the ant-depressants you know….

Female: … okay… maybe you should….

Male: maybe should….

That was basically the entire moment that I was able to witness and yet it struck me kind powerful. It was not a huge conversation but it was the sparseness of it which added to the moment. It was the placement of these two bodies in that tight space that intrigued me as well. Even though they were in a rather intimate conversation, there was a huge distance between the two. They were definitely not in the same place in their lives. The tin-like tone along with the time it took the male to deliver his words molded  his whole being. The intense sadness of loneliness was coming out of that man and it was clear he that was losing himself somewhere within. He was void of who he was and could not find the path of getting back to himself. He seemed to be drowning in his sense of nothingness. It was a very quiet and soft cry for rescue that was heard loud and clear by only a few.

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A little thought for 2011 and beyond

I am back again reflecting about what I want to achieve for the next 40 or could it be 50? years of my life. There are so many possibilities and projects that I still need to see realized. Dance is still a strong and uncanny passion that will never be  abandoned from my being. There is much more that I NEED to say therefore I am planning to get back into the studio very soon. I already have a few projects that are swirling around my head/heart/stomach and loins just waiting to get out. I’ve missed the creative environment in the studio with crazy courageous dancers and collaborators. The craziness in the kitchen is intense and fun however I do miss a certain sense of magic. Still have a deep appreciation and love of cooking but I am looking for ways to balance these two things that I do in my life. I have come to realize that I am able to achieve anything that I want to if it peaks my curiosity to learn. I guess that is the answer…. I need have to have fun, continue to learn, and to make art. BALANCE of the practical and the impractical will always make me happy…. makes sense doesn’t?